It seems such a distant memory,
I read the words of my past self
And instead of looking into a mirror
I am looking at the painting of a character
Contorted in ways he didn’t know,
Lost in ways he couldn’t see,
And haunted by that which
He was helpless to understand.
I feel disbelief from people
When I express my grand contentment.
I don’t need anything, I don’t want much,
Maybe a partner, but I’m not in a rush.
Other than that, I have everything.
What more is there to want than love?
Posessions? Achievements? Property?
I am in pursuit of those things,
And I’ll definitely enjoy them!
But I don’t want them– I don’t long for them,
I don’t think I’ll be significantly happier
Or even an ounce more fulfilled with them.
Indeed, what a strange concept
To most, I guess.
But what would you want any of that for
If you don’t have people to share it with?
What good is a big house
With no love? No laughter? No peace?
What good is achievement without
Loved ones to celebrate it with?
I work with all my energy
Towards many pursuits,
I’m not a monk.
I certainly won’t renounce the world.
But I look to those who truly understand me
To help me appreciate how far I’ve come
To achieve all I have,
And that is fulfilling indeed.
What good are any posessions
If you’re lost in life?
At least for me,
I recall a time thinking
I’d give up everything
Just to find one person, one,
To truly understand me.
How I’ve come so far to get here!
What trifles!
You can’t take them with you, anyway.
Perhaps most people I meet
Haven’t seen death enough
To understand how sudden it can be,
To understand how silly it is
To let your progress on achievements,
Posessions, property, or anything material
Dampen your joy,
Your sense of peace, your fulfillment.
Why wait… Why wait?
It took me so long to ask the right question.
It took me so long to get it,
That all along I had what I needed
To find myself completely satisfied,
What a comical distraction
Looking externally for fulfillment.
If you’re lucky, you might stumble
Into a signpost leading to the path,
But maybe you’re still not ready.
It took what felt like an eternity for me,
Finding the courage to live
In accordance with my values,
To let go of those superficial wants,
To see what I truly needed
And to surround myself with it
Until I was happy
At last.
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